Do you feel pulled in so many different directions you sometimes think you’re going to snap? You might be the main breadwinner but sometimes you feel guilty for going to work and not being there to help at home. You want to do well in your job, but if you stay late you miss out on being with your family. And as soon as you get in you get handed a baby who has decided to cry throughout making you more confused. Then thinking that you would go to your local pub after work and catch up with your friends, just forget about it!
Then come weekends, your partner expects you to help around the house and at the same time “spend time with your children” if any. Meantime, your partner has gone silent apart from huffs and sighs and when asked what’s wrong she simply gives the classic reply “nothing”.
You get confused because you can’t figure out what you’ve done or not done this time but it’s probably got something to do with her being taken for granted or you not being romantic. Perhaps you’d feel more romantic if there was a bit of sex every now and then, but she says if you were a bit more romantic, helpful and less useless she would feel more like sex. She says you don’t talk to her but definitely that’s difficult when she’s not talking to you!
And why does that happy fun loving girl you fell for only appear that, to other people these days and rarely for you? And just when you think you’ve turned the corner, and maybe life is getting a bit easier, she announces she’s pregnant again! Welcome to the emotional roller-coaster that is called being a Dad.
However there are some suggestions below to help you and your family find some balance and take away some of the day-to-day stress of family life and the suggestions can be adjusted to fit in with your situation.
- Make daily time for you (dad) to spend with kids, half an hour a day would do if you can’t afford more time.
- Agree when and how often you can go out on your own with your friends for instance, once a week or once a fortnight. And of course, offer her the same arrangement. If she is breastfeeding, or doesn’t like to go out at night, maybe lunch with a friend on a Saturday instead.
- Agree what is family time when you all do something together like go for some picnic or walk or visiting the parks as well as friends and relatives.
With the above few tips many more suggestions will come your way and it’s until then that you will realize being a dad is not all that troublesome.
Dads should also bear in mind that they have an equally important part to play in the raising of their children but to make this easier for them they need help and support.
Dating couples are not left out either; though they could be used to having plenty of time to themselves they should realize sooner or later they would be crossing the line and extend their families. It is therefore important to start as early as possible to discuss how they would handle the change. And if it happens sooner than they expected they should welcome the change.